I'm so sorry for not updating this site for people who watch my space. I'm terribly sorry. I'm not in the best state of mind currently. Days have gone by and the newly-created loneliness is settling in slowly but surely, and I've got to get used to it. Contarary to popular belief, I'm not desperate to get another girl. I'm saying things that are pushing people away. I'm in a bad shape. "hang around, I'll smile again, it shouldn't be so complicated, just hold me again, just touch me again, can you help me I'm bent, I'm so scared that I'll never get put back together." That's Matchbox 20 and that's exactly how I'm feeling now, bent. I guess that when you give a lot of yourself away for a long period of time, your identity becomes altered into a sybiotic form, depending on cause and effects from the other. Well, I'm still finding other pieces of my broken self.
Enough of that, I tire of it. I cannot bring myself to fully trust showing all of my thoughts on this 'showcase'. Everytime I give a preview into my endless memories, I peer into the past to dig out an interesting part to show off, hoping that it might intrigue and attract. Well, they cannot be described into words, and therefore never comes out right. I've been reading God Emperor of Dune, the fourth instalment of the DUNE series. Recently I watched Moulin Rouge on VCD and I must say, it restores some faith I had lost in love. Good story. I want to repress the memories. Find some other to spend my time thinking about.
I also bought Jimmy Eat World: Bleed American and Natalie Imbruglia: White Lilies Island. Both CDs are great, they best of this year's purchases. Not too bad. Project work is looking up. I've got myself in Photograpic Society and I may actually join Drama Club. Last week was my first assignment for PS in school covering the School Carnival. I think I'll go write an article on it. then maybe can use soem of the photos. I'd like to thank Fish also for allowing to find out about the Index Printing form of photographs that have the white background. I'm going to get me someo of those to put my puctures nicely in my 20-something dollars album. Yippee! I think I'm trying and I hope it's working. I'm trying to not make myself seem so irritating to Amanda and Delfine. I know Amanda's alright, but Delfine seems aggressive. I'm not saying anything out of hand now, but, oh well, I guess it takes time.
On EVIL: There's is a certain person in my class whose name must not be mentioned. The Evil One, I feel, is rather gross. I know it's mean and all to judge, but people like this always have a certain major flaw with them that doesn't allow them to ever, ever, ever fully have many people who'll enjoy their company. You see, I was thinking about Beauty and the Beast today and the fact still remains that the beast literally turns into a handsome PRINCE at the end. The beast initially is grumpy and sad and blah blah blah, meets Belle and he becomes mild-mannered and good and all. The inner qualities are present and prevail. But Evil has no nice inner qualities. She tries to be nice to people and all but the fact remains that she irritates others with her "I-believe-my-opinion-is-right-always-and-forever" kind of attitude and she may seem mild-mannered and all but it can so obviously be seen that she's a sad and lonely person who doesn't have a life and probably never will because she's rather scikening. All of you may say that you know, you shouldn't judge and that it is wrong. Accepted, but the initial impression always remains. I KNOW that Evil is actually very snide and vengeful, just that she doesn't do anything obvious. Oh, I don't hate her, I just totally detest the fact that she talks to people in that tone and with that authoratative air in her statements. Recently, I actually feel glad that I've not answered her questions and that I've been snappy with her. I'm going through a bad time, she's sickening. Oh, I call her Evil because she always seems to find the information that no one else is able to find for research. I do not judge her, I merely exist aside from her with a formed impression that is a basic human creation due to the need for boundaries. I really actually just want her to leave me alone so I don;t have to look at her of answer her. Hey, I'm doing quite a good job. I'm a total jerk in this aspect but who cares, everyone needs someone to vent on.
Failed my economics. Heh heh heh. I got an AO pass. Well, it's really funny seeing as how everyone else is enjoying their lives and I'm still sucky old me trying to get a grip on life. People are asking me in school whether I'm okay. Well, I'm not, But thanks for the concern. I'm going to go for PS Interviews for Ex-co and if I don't get in this time, then who cares, I'll do my best and try my world. No one is me and I'm not anyone else, so I can do with my lot as I please. This Thursday is Condemnation. whoops! Commendation Day! I've gotten over Council, but I guess that Koustav hasn't. Oei, Bitch! You get over it lah, they're there and will always be there, so suck it in and live life up. You've got good things going for you so yeah, smile at life and walk on by.
"May Angels lead you in, Here You'll meet my friends, On Sleepless roads the Sleepless go, May Angels lead you in." -The Praise Chorus by Jimmy Eat World.
I'm beginning fresh,
Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah, hey hey...
